Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
