whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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