i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize