This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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