If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
