Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
