my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you had me at cake vodka
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
