If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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