the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
whose parrot is this?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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