OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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