If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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