I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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