he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
