Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
