My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
