it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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