Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
