Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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