It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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