Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
