So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
