I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
