so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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