I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
