idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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