i was born a porn star she said
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
