There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's shark week go big or go home
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
