gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
