It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
