I cockslap morals
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
