Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
