come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
