Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
my being single is dangerous.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
