Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
