Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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