Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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