Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You need Xanax blowdarts
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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