I just saw a hot homeless man
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
