Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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