I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
