Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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