I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
