Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
