Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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