Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
