Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
even my farts smell like vagina
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
