I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
