Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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