Why does Corona taste like a burp?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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