i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
