I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
