I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
