this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
