does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
