I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
