But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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