he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
