Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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