i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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