Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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