seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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