Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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