Kiss
Puke
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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